=^_^= Miau!

NekoPan Theme Song from Kura!

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:24:11 GMT

Kirky wrote our theme song! *applause for Kirky!!!!!!*

We are looking for lyrics though. So, if anybody feels like taking it up, I'm willing to make it worth your while!! A grand secretive little prize for who evers lyrics we like best!

Not entirely sure what it'll be yet. But I'll make sure it's lovely. :)

You can find the lyrics in the forums on www.nekopanbakery.com.

We're looking for something cupcakey...As it is...you know....for a cute bakery. You'll understand what we're after when you listen to it, and if you've ever seen a shoujo anime ever. :3

Anyone lyrically blessed, go for it!!!

-j

And so, The Hobbitses begin.

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:27:17 GMT

I've made a new side journal for more serious things, and country/woodsy love.

If you care, friend. If you don't, then please don't. :)

you can find it here.

http://thehobbitses.livejournal.com

Thanks~!

Some thoughts.

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:57:45 GMT

This is going to be a long one. Apologies in advance.

Anyone who knows me well knows that, all throughout my life, I've been in a battle between two things I want most.

One moment, I want to give away all of my possessions and move into the woods to start a simpler life. I want to get in touch with nature, I want to think, and to appreciate things more.

The next moment, I want to go to Tokyo, or some other big city. To the nightlife! To the flashing neon colours, into the thick of it all. A city that never sleeps, surrounded by people and cutting edge technology.

Today, I'm falling in the former category.

I would happily trade all of my things, for something that would really count when and if it all came down to it.

Think about it:: If civilization ends tomorrow, what would you do? Would you even know what to do? What would you take from your little home? How would you start your new life, when there is nothing around you? Your money counts for nothing, and it's every man for himself?

Admittedly, that's a pretty fatalistic way of looking at it. The reason that I want to run away from it all isn't to 'survive when the world ends'. I don't think that the world is going to end at any moment. I simply want to prove to myself that I can be self-reliant.

I don't need the Nintendo. I don't need the electronics. I don't need my crafts and my nonsense. I just don't. They count for nothing in the grand scheme of things, and on days like this, looking at all the crap that surrounds me just makes me feel ill. Can I, this silly woman from the North-West, actually work and help provide for my family?

I can work, and I can earn money. I like to work, and earning a paycheck is nice! We can have luxuries and spend time at home relaxing. But earning a paycheck, just isn't what I crave. I crave hard work, I want my back to hurt and my arms and legs to be sore for days. I want to be dizzy from the heat. I need it. That pain proves that I'm doing my part. As I sit here and grow older with nothing to show for it, I just feel foolish.

We didn't make any part of this apartment. There is no emotion or history here. This is just another row house in the midst of other row houses. We have no connection with it-- it's just a place to hold all of our shit.

Don't get me wrong, we live a wonderful life. My husband works SO hard for us, and I appreciate him and all that he does so that we can have this roof over our head.

I just am really anxious to get out there and do it ourselves, you know?

Living this modern life, I feel that I'm not living to my fullest potential. I need to prove to myself that I can do something bigger than this. I want to look at the nails in the wall and feel accomplished that I helped to put it together. I want to look out at my garden that is helping to feed us and feel good that I am contributing.

I want history. I want culture. I want to get in touch with how things were. I want to appreciate the little things in nature. I want to work hard.

I think I will open a new little side journal for this side of me-- I'm sure that most who actually read my journal don't really care about my philosophical musings, and it would be a way to keep track of what I'm doing, so I can look back and see that I have been working. Prove to myself that I have been learning. :)

On that note, I'm off to it.

-j

Old Fart

Sat, 31 May 2008 03:30:59 GMT

In the dark ages, how would jenri die?

You would die of natural causes, at the ripe old age of 30.

'How would you die in the dark ages?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Lazy lazy day....

Fri, 23 May 2008 18:53:27 GMT

*yaaawn!*

I got up at 10 today......I guess I was tired from re-arranging the apartment yesterday...

We went to Ikea and spent most of my first paycheck. We got a bed, a matching night stand, a lamp, and a big bookcase. :) so now we have tons more storage, it's really exciting. I was planning on working on putting stuff away today, but I got distracted so far, and am now thinking about lunch and fabric. :3

Dui is supposed to be sending me pictures of the Emeraude she wants me to do for this coming Kumoricon, and Maura and Arika have helped me with my Victorian Lolita design, and I want to get some fabric for bags.

I finally got paid for the birthday cupcakes I did a while ago!! The lady gave me 40 bucks and said that I was going to do all of her kids' birthdays now. :D She said everybody loved them and was asking for more more more. :3 That makes me super happy.

So, that's 100 bucks now towards our second booth!!!!

I haven't registered for it all yet, because the new lady who is in charge of the exhibitors hall hasn't gotten back to me... (Our friend Eric isn't doing it this year, he's the treasurer instead) So, that gives us a little more time to save save save. :)

I have to find the power cable for our digital camera before I can do the update to the Menus page...Or I might just do it in photoshop for the heck of it, just to have it done.

Aaaand, I found the song that I will Kareoke this year. I didn't do my Anna song from last year, so I still HAVE to do that one this year. HAVE to. But in addition, I'm planning to do Linda Linda. I wish I could do it for the competition, because I know it would be super easy to learn, and I'd love to rope Bryce into playing the guitar for it.

They are covering 'The Blue Hearts', a punk band from Japan (basically their version of The Clash), the song is Linda Linda, and it looks like it'd be so much fun to sing. :) There is a movie that the cover band (Paranmaum) is from called 'Linda Linda Linda'. The singer is a Korean Exchange Student and they had her fill in last minute so that they could play at a school festival. The one from the movie itself is much better in my opinion, but if you don't know the story that leads up to it, maybe it isn't. *shrug* So, there's the polished one instead.

I have the debut CD of The Blue Hearts, and it's awesome. Owaranai Uta is really awesome too.

Off to buy fabric, I think. :)

LOVE!

-j

Gearing up for Grand Thing

Fri, 02 May 2008 22:14:51 GMT

Gah, I know it's Tourney.....

And I know I will die in my hitoe-- even if I just do the two summer layers (like on the Kyoto Costume Museum)...

But I really want to go as my persona. I'll just have to get the biggest fan I can handle. :3

I went over to my pallie Gemmas' house the other day and showed her my half suitcase of robes from the juni-hitoe that I'm working on.

Tomorrow is a low key stitch day for Deanne and Lucy and I. We're going to try and get things in order then. I'm still missing two layers of my 'Shades of Golden Yellow', two very important layers, the the ones that are the shades of golden yellow! >_<

Lots of love~~

-j

Up late up late up late.

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 08:46:58 GMT

Hey guys....

Stayed up under the guise of putting the boys' laundry in the dryer....only to realize that I was restless and couldn't sleep.

So, I'm doing homework again. I don't know why I'm going so crazy with it, I've only got 3 classes this quarter, so I should be kicking back and enjoying...instead I can't sleep because I keep thinking I'm forgetting something. Oh yes. The bills are what I'm forgetting.

It's hard to pay bills with little money though.

Soon though, I'll be finished with school and be able to get a job, regardless of if it's in the industry or not. I'm dedicated, so hopefully I can get in somewhere.

A new girl popped in on the NekoPan forums-- I remembered her from the Con. She stopped by the last day and bought 30 cupcakes. She was really sweet and wrote me an e'mail telling me how much she liked them. It made me warm and fuzzy inside. ^__^

I don't know what I'm going to do with that this year-- I don't want to commit to coming again, because Lord knows where I'll be at that point. However. I adore the booth that krktheartist made, and have been talking new flavours with my lovely vallohavok. I think that if we went back this next year that it would be phenomenal, and we would do a lot better, having learned what we did last year. Boy, did we learn things!

I've already committed to doing that wedding cake this summer, alongside Teepa, and it's going to be awesome...Other than that, who knows. I guess I'm open to it. Either way, she got me thinking.

I made the gorgeous wailaki_amazon a pretty cool little bag for Christmas (if I do say so myself) and thought that it would be fun to make one for Kirky and Tee, for sure. I didn't decorate Dees, because I want her to be able to do it herself, but I've been meaning to make prezzies for the two of them for ages....and perhaps this will be what I will do. I love the little comics that Kirky did for a while, so I think I'm going to print those out on the iron-on papers, and do some sort of applique with ribbon and vinyl.

We'll see. Just something that came to me while I wasn't sleeping. O_o

EDIT:: Here's a mockup.

Peace, mah bitches.

-j

New Years

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 02:01:15 GMT

This year, I'm not going to buy any new clothing. In fact, I'm going to buy as little new as possible, but I figured that the best thing to start with would be clothing.

I think that I will start a new blog on my website for this project after the first of the year, as I start it.

I'll keep you all in touch on this journal still, if anybody is interested.

Happy New Years, everybody. Hope you're all going to do something fun.

Best wishes during the year of the Rat, from a fellow Rat!

-j

From Kristin.

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 03:36:39 GMT

My new favourite thing.

I luff you Kirky.

Super Sprode

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:36:55 GMT

Bath Salts for sale by NekoPan~!

We've got Tea & Cream, Lemon Meringue, Happiness of my Kata-Kirky, Lavender, Ylang Ylang.

I'm gonna go and take a bath soon and enjoy one of them. ^__^ There will be fizzies and bath bombs soon, but I'm awaiting a certain ingredient.

Please buy one! :3 They're pretty cheap compared to what you pay elsewhere.

Tattoooooooo!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 03:23:23 GMT

The Tattoo I gave my brother. :3 His nickname when he was in the Army was Reinstein, and he got this in honour of his fellow mates in the 1016th.

Work in Progress. My little brother loves being a ham for the camera. :)

Finally Finished!! It took around four hours from drafting the pattern, line work to inking. It turned out really good, I think. Its big, but that is what he wanted.

I love my brother!! :3

-j

Sakura Fest @ Uwaji!

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 22:57:43 GMT

I'm getting very excited!! This upcoming weekend is a busy one. Teepa is having her housewarming party, Dui is having her birthday, and it's NekoPan's debut!!

We debut at the SakuraFestival at Uwajimaya! We will be all dressed up and giving out little treatlets. There was a big to-do at our place this last weekend where we did dough tests for our treats. (We found at least one dough that we are pleased with, but each who were in attendance is continuing tests on their own throughout the week.) It should be really awesome, there are a number of us that are coming to promote NekoPan: Teepa said that she would be there, Dui is coming, Robin and Amy and Lucy are coming, Bryce and Myself are going to be there.....

I'm dressing up in the NekoPan regalia (the only thing I'm missing is the rivets on the cincher and then the shirt!! Hooray!!), Robby is doing a version of Ms. Pom, Lucy is wearing a NekoPan shirt from our CafePress shoppe! I think Amy is going to be attacked and dressed by Robin, and I bet I could convince Teepa to come in her chef's coat. ^_^

I hope it turns out as good as it should.

-j

Our NekoPan Bakery .com is up!

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 00:13:51 GMT

www.nekopanbakery.com is up and running. I got it done about a week ago, and have been fixing bugs for the last while. (One of which is the fact that I designed the page around a larger ratio than I thought. I thought it was 1020, but it was actually 1280...Will fix)

A few people are playing on the forums, which is exciting.

Rough NekoPan outfits have been drafted and stitched, and hopefully I can tag Tearsa tomorrow and we can quantity test some of the recipes and get her measurements.

We've finally gotten word from Kumoricon, and the proper forms to fill out so we can get a space there. We're still debating as to what kind of space we want, and what kind of service we want to provide (there is a thread on the forums, let us know what you think).

Anyways, I'm happy enough with it.

Now off to get a business license... NekoPan NekoPan NekoPan on the brain....

*little pull-string popper*

-j

Happy week~

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 01:34:48 GMT

Tearsa and her pet came down on St. Patricks day. ^_^ We drank midori sours with our significant others and chatted about life. The boys went off play Wii Play after a bit. It was so nice to get to sit and hang out with Teepa again. I missed being able to do that. I like sitting on the patio and bs-ing with her.

Been talking to Kirky lately, and have been pushing to get stuff done for Kumoricon. We've made a little bit of money from CafePress, and so when she comes home, we'll head down to FabricDepot and select the fabrics we need to start putting the costumes together! I can't wait...I got a new sewing machine from our Tax Return...I havn't had a chance to use him yet. What to name him...Hmm. I have been testing out recipes too, and hopefully the group can do them together and vote as to what they want...I also think we're going to get Hanko for each of the servers. They can mark whos is theirs...was talking about it with Kirky and she thinks it'd be fun. We'd have to get a custom one for Teepa though, cause her name isn't common.

This weekend we are going to help Teepa move~!! Then we are going to Truculents' moving/birthday party on Friday night. Saturday morning is Bryce's family reunion...I havn't met many people from his family (it's massive) because the reunions are always on a weekend, and up and until 2 weeks ago, I had to work weekends. It's so nice to be able to spend time together for a change. I love that Buddha and him get along so well too...Teepa's man is so nice. ^_^ I am happy for her.

Getting my crap together so that I can send a nice portfolio to Laika for an internship. ^_^ One of my teachers said that they would give me a reference there (they worked there also). I havn't done it yet, because there are some things I want to get polished up before I venture forth.

Anyways, much love to my girls and poo to Gigantor.....

-j

P.s.-- Kirky, you are my hero. *swoons* Tearsa....I fucking love you. ^_^

Tadaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 03:02:29 GMT

This evening, I shirked off all of my 'Finals Week' responsibilities and built up the NekoPan Bakery & Maid Cafe store at CafePress.com after talking with Kirkus.

Take a look please!

You don't make much profits from CafePress, but any commission that we do happen to make will go towards costumes and props for Kumoricon.

I'm going to buy the baseball shirt with the pink sleeves...So cute, it makes me weak. ^____^

Love to all~~

-j

Dissapointing.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 22:52:26 GMT

*sigh*

This whole Lolita forum is more trouble than it is worth, I think.

truculent (thank you again....) stood up for me in the mess that happened earlier in the week....But she was the only one. I never got an apology from the girl who runs the forum, who shut me down so completely. Instead, I got another girl who said:

And really, no one here wants anyone who looks like they've come out of the bargain bin at hot topic to be there.

.....I never said I was going to come out of the bargain bin...I understand the fashion, I've made clothing before (nobody asked), and I've been to other smaller, loli things. I just said I couldn't afford brand. What's sadder, is Caroline is the one who invited me to the forums.... T_T

The original girl again replies with:

and imo, lolita brands are worth the money.

..............Did anybody even read my post?
I said I wanted to come in something not brand. Not because I wanted to throw off their party, but because I cannot afford it.

....

My fear was that I would be judged as 'not good enough' because it wasn't plastered with brand names. And I guess I'm glad that I checked.

Yes, it is expensive to dress lolita, regardless if you make it, or if you buy it. I'm aware of this. It's just part of the deal. And that money, I do not have....I don't have rich parents. I'm a (fairly) newlywed with plenty of bills to pay, plus college loans and car payments, and and and. Nobody asked me about how detailed my outfit was/would be. Nobody asked me about anything. They just assumed I'd be there in jeans with a skirt on top, calling myself 'lolita'.

I wasn't. I have stuff that I've made, that I like, that I look good in. Admittedly, it isn't sweet (most of the pictures seem to be sweets, but she said that other versions were welcome) But honestly. Everybody's got to start somewhere, right? Why should new people be kicked out before they even really join?

I'd posted once, introducing myself. I got one reply about where to buy cotton lace. I guess one reply is better than nothing, but it's just sad, considering how colourful the forum is when you're watching it, compared to when you actually take part.

Anyways, I've got homework to do. Fuck this whole mess. I'm done.

-j

Plans for tonight.

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 00:12:27 GMT

Go home. * = sit in traffic until 6pm...*

Go directly to bed.

Take a very neccisary nap.

Make cookies. *this said nookies until my seatmate Candace pointed it out....Freudian slip, I guess...*

Watch a movie or something fun for a change. *I am in desperate need of either Kamikaze Girls or Water Boys.*

Mess with our tree. *It smells so wonderful!! Hooray for outdoors indoors!*

Ohhh, it'll be nice to have a few moments free. If I wasn't so tired I'd prolly finish up homework. But it being as it is, I'm beat. All I want is to turn on the electric blanket full bore and forget that the world exists.

The Portfolio homework isn't actually what I did yesterday. I had some rigging that I had to get finished....And I got most of it done...cept now that I open it at school, one of my arms is all messed up, but that's generally how it goes. I hate rigging arms.

I did rig my pippen bird though, on a whim, in about an hour. I was sooooo excited....It's my first birdy, and it's the first one I did entirely without any notes. Admittedly it was just a whole lot of ikHandles and Parent Constraints.....

-j

....

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 06:26:58 GMT

You know what I hate?

Earbuds. In your ear or out of them, I hate them.

I do love Harvest Moon for DS though.... *snuggles it* Don't worry, Harvest Sprites, I'll save you!!

-j

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 03:45:11 GMT

Soooo.

We have a new apartment now.

It is much nicer.

It is much bigger.

It is more expensive.

*sigh*

But somehow it's all working out. You ever get that feeling, like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop? I keep thinking I'm forgetting something.... >_>

Tearsa my love, thank you sooooooo much for helping us out yesterday!!! We got everything unpacked from the truck in no time. Funny how getting things loaded always takes longer than unloading. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

We're on break from school, which is super, cause moving during finals woulda sucked sooo bad.

Tomorrow is our one year anniversary. We're not doing anything special, we both have to work. But hopefully we'll get to see each other a little bit between shifts. Wanted to do something on Monday and Tuesday, but to move into the apartment was expensive, and we spent our holiday monies. Besides, this place is so new it's almost like being in a motel. Cept we have to pay for electricity.

The internet isn't included either...I'm piggybacking on somebody else's WiFi signal. It isn't encrypted, so..Don't mind if I do, I guess? I'm assuming that since it isn't protected, they don't mind. Not gonna download anything huge though, just to avoid any suspicions (?).

Paying bills and notifying all of address changes.

If you need my new addy for whatever reason, or you want it just because you do, let me know, I'll e'mail it to you. ^_^

Nothing more, or of any particular interest to me to report.

-j

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 01:10:31 GMT

Valentines Day Horrors! by deuceloosely
Username
Status
Seen with suspicious-looking blonde woman:	tsubomi
Went back into the closet:	vallohavok
Sends you a singing Ape-o-Gram:	krktheartist
Brings one of your exes to the party:	midori_ronin
Came dressed for a "Slumber Party:"	cc452
Chokes on a candy heart reading, "Be mine:"	rayne_eventual
"...but I'm not bitter."	loudnserene
Proposes marriage to you in drunken stupor:	socialsolitude
The "wallflower" who somehow manages to score:	switchfox
Total valentines you'll receive:	79

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Miao--

So, that's not really important. I just saw it on Midori's page and decided to yoink it for fun.

This week was annoying. I thought for sure that one of my Maya projects was due today. Called in sick to work on Sunday to work on it. Spent all day on it yesterday too. Didn't get it finished, and was resigned to the fact that it sucked, and that I would get a bad grade.

Well, I find this guy in the hall today that has the same class as me, and he says it's not due till next week.

</swallows>

HALLELUJAH!!!

So, I'm a lot farther than most people now, and we have another week to work on it. *yays!*

~~~

Happy Valentines Day then. My boss was pissy because I have to be here at school and am unavailable to sling German food tonight. HAHA FSCKERS! Even tho what I'd really like to do is go home and eat a sandwich. Or get some Runts. Those sound good.

Oooo. Cheetos.

Yes.

I think everybody here on my lil' listie already knows about my Deviantart (I'm Rurikokun). I'm slowly moving over there, just because it's easier for me, and there's a journal attached already. Well, maybe I won't. I'm still kicking the idea around. It'll be decided when Bryce and I finally get internet. If.

It'd be nice to have, but if we get it, then there'll be no stopping me from sitting on my arse all day drawing randomness. Seems like I have more of an excuse to draw when I'm online than when I'm doing my own thing. Not really important.

So, on that note, have a wonderful day. Just remember. It's Tuesday today.

-j

Christmas to youuuu~~

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 04:28:35 GMT

Merry Chistmas--

We had our Christmas tonight. It was lovely ^_^

We got a lot of lovely things, Bryce has started to buy me Kimono. ^__^ So, my collection started with a teal obi with a white leaves and a red flower on it. There are 4 or 5 boxes at home under the tree for me that we're going to open together. I saved my tips for three months and bought him an iPod. He got it early though, cause I couldn't wait to give it to him.

I paid the 300 dollars entirely in 5's. The saleswoman was annoyed. >_>

We're going to see Bryce's family on Christmas Day, since we both work on the eve....Today is also his birthday and we're celebrating that on the same day. Also to see Bo before he leaves for Iraq on the 2nd.

We're also on the lookout for a replacement car for Bryce-- Angela (his old subaru) went tits up and now we're using one car for everything. We took out a loan for a few thou and got some monies for Christmas and we're going to go Car shopping tomorrow. Hopefully we'll have a better experience this time than the time before....

We found a car on like, craigslist.com and looked into it. It was so horrible...well, the car was alright, but the experience wasn't.

My father also had a big slide with his truck. So he's also on the lookout for a new vehicle. What a disaster.....

Snuggles--

-j

AND ITS OVER!!

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 18:16:45 GMT

Fall quarter is past, and I survived. I just gave my Maya presentation. The teacher liked my model, and that's good, but what's a maya final without some drama??? I made a DVD. And a VHS backup. And brought an AVI file in case those didn't work. Well, they didn't. I ended up having to use all three of them before finally landing on the AVI. So frustrating. I did a japanese teahouse, and really went nuts with it. Had much fun. Will post new piccies eventually, I guess. I wish I could drop an AVI onto like, Deviantart.

I also have my final for sound that is featuring the Demonic Angels. I only have Sakura, Bara, and Murasaki in it, because I am previously giving Panji a *sexy* makeover. The picture will be up on Deviantart soon. She's hott. With two t's.

We are going up to CR tonight, just for a bit though. We're going to have a bonfire at my mums, and then meet up with Scott, a guy that Bryce is friends with. He's coming down to Longview from up north, and called us yesterday to see if we were free. ^_^ It was unexpected. Scott is a nice guy, I like him too (so it's not just Bryce, umm...maybe I'm beating a dead horse here...but he's both of our friends, but originally just Bryces? I guess that it all doesn't matter.)

So, this quarter is all done.

So happy.

Kisses.

-j

It's the mad dash to the finish line!

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 21:59:01 GMT

Ahh, the week before finals week. All the projects are due now.

I thought the ones we made were neat, until I turned them in. Yeah. It's alright, but they werent' the best in the class. Which is what you've gotta be in this school.....*sigh*

Well, that's that, I guess-- everybody gearing up for Christmas? We're going to make chocolates to give away because we be poor.

-j

Halloweenie

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 20:11:52 GMT

Hello lovelies--

Time to update again...Nothing particularly wonderful to report, except I will be posting some frame renders of my 3D Modeling project on Deviantart, and I'd love for you guys to comment on things that I could add. ^_^ I'm building a Japanese teahouse.

www.rurikokun.deviantart.com

Kirkus came up from Salem to be with me on Halloween!! *snug!*

It was fun. I made her a lunch to take home. Bagel sandwich and booze. Cuz I lub her. ^_^

I'm in class now, so I've gotta run away...

Lemme know what you think of my model, and what you think I should add on. Like, a lil' stone lantern in the front? Keep in mind that this is all done in 3D, so it's difficult to do some things, and thusly may not do them. I don't have time for a lot of animations in the front, nor do I have the rendering facilities for a lot of procedurals (like water). Prop suggestions'd be great tho....

They're in my scraps bin, because the facade is not finished yet.

So, lemme know, I need some assistance. ^_^

Lovins

-j

sigh

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 21:15:15 GMT

Well, That's depressing.

I'm just getting so fed up with this place, this country, this outlook on things.

Moneymoneymoney, it's all encompassing.

I'm working myself into debt to go to school, and when the world falls apart, who the fuck cares.

I'm just losing faith in this particular 'way of life'...

Bryce and I are moving to Vancouver....Im pretty sure of it-- within the next 5 years.

I don't want to be American anymore.

-j